Imagine if you knew for certainty that your thoughts were forces. That these forces were strong enough to impact on the external events that came into and shaped your life. How might you better manage your thoughts as a consequence?
Last Saturday morning I woke up miserable. I had had a bad night's sleep and I had missed having my husband at home with me the night before. He had been out with a friend and was sleeping in that morning nursing a hangover (he rarely goes out, and even more rarely drinks, so I could not begrudge him the event!). However it meant I had to get up to our 3 year old, do breakfast, clean the kitchen, take 3 year old to dance class, etc. So I was grumpy, and feeling hardly done by. In addition, I was running over in mind how 'lucky' some of my friends are, and how they didn't really deserve their luck, and why were we not so lucky, etc... It culminated in me driving to my parents-in-law's house (about three quarters of an hours drive away) with my husband having a very serious, deep and meaningful conversation whilst driving.
Just as we were about to arrive, I saw a flashing light behind me of a police car. I pulled over and said to my husband, "I think I have just got a speeding ticket", even though I had no idea what speed I had been travelling at. The policeman walked up to the window and asked me if I knew why I was being pulled over. I said that I guessed I was speeding. He said, no, I had been driving in the right hand lane when the signs say "Keep left unless overtaking". He then issued me with a $45 fine.
My husband was furious at the triviality of the 'crime' and also the fact that I had received a fine not just a warning.
But for me, I knew I had brought it on myself. I had had such bad karma against the world that day - feeling sorry for myself and wishing unwell on others, that I had brought this ill-fate on myself.
That fine was a big wake up call. I truly knew that my negative thoughts had brought it on.
When faced with any situation in life, it is so much more empowering to ask yourself "What can I do differently to get the result that I want?", than to attach blame or wear a victim mentality.
Even if the event or events are outside of your known control, it is worthwhile to 'presuppose' it is in your control. "What can I do to influence this person's behaviour towards me?" rather than "Why is this person behaving so badly towards me?" Or,"What can I do to handle this illness I have now?" vs "Why am I so unlucky to be suffering this illness and others aren't?"
Controlling our thoughts to be ones that are positive and work for us, rather than negative and that let us fall into a victim/blame mindset is the first step in being the cause of your life.
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Fake it until you make it.....
An interesting response of mine to reading about some of the basics of neuro-linguistic programming was that suddenly my emotions had less value.
Imagine you had just had your wallet stolen by a pickpocket. You were lamenting why you didn't have your wallet more tightly held, why you had walked through the crowded shops and why you had $200 in your wallet when normally you had no cash.. You had just spent an hour on the phone cancelling all your credit cards with recalcitrant bank operators. You might imagine how you were feeling - angry, depressed, frustrated and just in a bad mood.
The phone rings. It is someone telling you that you have just won $100,000 from a raffle you entered at a shopping centre a number of months ago. How do you imagine your mood might shift - disbelief, elation, surprise, joy and generally a great mood.
How quickly did it take you to change from a bad mood to a good mood. "In a heartbeat" as Anthony Robbins would say.
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is more or less about the power to control our emotions and our emotional responses. Just like an external event such as the one above can change our emotional state 'in a hearbeat', we can trigger ourselves internally to also change our emotional state.
One of the simplest and most effective ways of doing this is to physically 'act' as if we were already in that more positive state.
What does a depressed person look like? They may be hunched in their seat, they would have a frown on their face, their shoulders may be drooped, and their body language very inward facing. Compare this to someone who feels excited and enthusiastic about the future. They would be standing up straight, smiling, looking directly at the world, they would be well groomed, walking briskly and with open, welcoming body language.
If you feel a bit depressed, watch for your physical 'symptoms' of depression. Choose to do the opposite. Choose to 'move' and 'act' as if you are not feeling depressed. Sit upright, move around, go for a walk, do something positive for yourself.
As much as we can attach ourselves to our emotions, and even define ourselves by our emotions, it is scary how quickly we can override and change these emotions.
Imagine you had just had your wallet stolen by a pickpocket. You were lamenting why you didn't have your wallet more tightly held, why you had walked through the crowded shops and why you had $200 in your wallet when normally you had no cash.. You had just spent an hour on the phone cancelling all your credit cards with recalcitrant bank operators. You might imagine how you were feeling - angry, depressed, frustrated and just in a bad mood.
The phone rings. It is someone telling you that you have just won $100,000 from a raffle you entered at a shopping centre a number of months ago. How do you imagine your mood might shift - disbelief, elation, surprise, joy and generally a great mood.
How quickly did it take you to change from a bad mood to a good mood. "In a heartbeat" as Anthony Robbins would say.
Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) is more or less about the power to control our emotions and our emotional responses. Just like an external event such as the one above can change our emotional state 'in a hearbeat', we can trigger ourselves internally to also change our emotional state.
One of the simplest and most effective ways of doing this is to physically 'act' as if we were already in that more positive state.
What does a depressed person look like? They may be hunched in their seat, they would have a frown on their face, their shoulders may be drooped, and their body language very inward facing. Compare this to someone who feels excited and enthusiastic about the future. They would be standing up straight, smiling, looking directly at the world, they would be well groomed, walking briskly and with open, welcoming body language.
If you feel a bit depressed, watch for your physical 'symptoms' of depression. Choose to do the opposite. Choose to 'move' and 'act' as if you are not feeling depressed. Sit upright, move around, go for a walk, do something positive for yourself.
As much as we can attach ourselves to our emotions, and even define ourselves by our emotions, it is scary how quickly we can override and change these emotions.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
"Attention! Here and Now! Attention! Here and Now!"
One of my favourite books at school was Aldous Huxley's Brave New World. Not only is it beautifully written it also contains powerful political, economic and social messages that are as important today as when it was originally written.
In his later years, Huxley wrote a book called Island. This was written at a time when Huxley was further into his spiritual quest.
It tells the story of a man shipwrecked on an island, inhabited by a strange race of people, with very different social & spiritual norms than from where he had come from.
The parrots on this island all squawked the words, "Attention! Here and Now! Wake Up! Attention! Hear and Now! Wake Up!" As the man walked around the island he would hear the birds repeatedly calling these words.
The man asked the islanders why these birds called these words. The islanders had explained that they had taught the birds specifically to say these words.
"Attention to what?", the man asked.
"To paying attention", the islanders replied.
For me, today and recently, this has been the most useful, empowering, calming and joyous affirmation for me to repeat throughout my day.
Having just read 'The Power of Now', by Eckhart Tolle, this affirmation keeps me centred on the present. It helps me keep my mind from straying into the past and the future.
When we focus on the past we often attach meaning to events - that was good, that was bad, that worked, that didn't work.... Similarly when we think of the future we can attach meaning, for example fears or worries about what might happen, or anticipatory happiness at what pleasant possibilities exist.
For me often the past is 'negative' and the future always 'positive'. I often forget about the present!
When I am (in the) present, I am true to myself and values. Decisions are easier to make. I am necessarily at peace as in the present moment there is no good or bad, there just is. Tolle talks of is-ism. I love that. Having is-ism.
With our ego, or mind, there are the polarities of good and bad. If you have good thoughts, there is necessarily bad thoughts. For example, "I am looking forward to my day off tomorrow when I am going to the beach". This thought will make me feel good. However it may very promptly be followed by, "I hope that it doesn't rain and ruin my day off at the beach." This thought will make me feel bad.
If you 'listen' to your incessant mind chatter you will notice a few things. Firstly it is rarely focussed on what is actually going on in the 'here and now'. Secondly, you will oscillate between what happened in the past, or what you are hoping or fearing may happen in the future.
A good illustration of how our mind works is in the story of the old man who had a fine, but rather wild thoroughbred horse. One day, the horse broke out of the paddock and ran away. The old man' neighbour came over and, when he found out about the horse escaping, said, "That's too bad ! Bad luck!" But the old man said, "Maybe, maybe not." The next day, the horse came back, bringing with it three fine wild horses. "How wonderful!" exclaimed the neighbour. But the old man just smiled and said, "Maybe, maybe not." The old man had a son, and the son went riding on one of the wild horses, but it was so wild that it kicked him and broke his leg. The old man's neighbour found out and, again, said, "That's too bad ! Bad luck." But the old man said, "Maybe, maybe not." Soon, the army came knocking on the old man's door, looking for conscripts for the war. Because the old man's son was injured, they didn't take him. "How wonderful!" said the neighbour, but the old man said ...... you start to get the picture!
As I stopped attaching meaning to events in my past and future, it became so much easier to enjoy the present. To notice the sunset as I sat in the bad traffic. To let go of the upset I had at a friend misunderstanding me. To laugh at myself when I was wishing hopefully for an event to happen in the future to make me happy.
"Attention! Here and Now! Wake up!". I love it.
So tomorrow, try it out. Next time you feel yourself getting upset, depressed, angry, frustrated, call out "Attention! Here and Now! Wake up!". Ask yourself if in the present moment there is any need to be upset, depressed, angry or frustrated. Take a deep breath. Feel everything there is to be felt right at that moment (your legs against the chair, the air conditioner blowing on your face), hear what there is to be heard (your breathing, the computer whirring), smell what there is to be smelt, see what there is to be seen (others in the room, colours on the wall). You will be surprised at the peace that descends.
It is a peace that emanates from your heart. It encompasses all the space around you and between you. It may only last a moment.
Try it too when you feel yourself getting excited or happy about something. See that it is a polarity. Attaching too much meaning to something external risks the downside if things do not work out as planned. Practice watching your mind at work, tricking your emotions into following an unnecessary roller coaster.
I hope that as I practice this ("Attention! Here and Now! Wake up!") I can more naturally keep the heart-peace I have found.
Namaste
Jane
In his later years, Huxley wrote a book called Island. This was written at a time when Huxley was further into his spiritual quest.
It tells the story of a man shipwrecked on an island, inhabited by a strange race of people, with very different social & spiritual norms than from where he had come from.
The parrots on this island all squawked the words, "Attention! Here and Now! Wake Up! Attention! Hear and Now! Wake Up!" As the man walked around the island he would hear the birds repeatedly calling these words.
The man asked the islanders why these birds called these words. The islanders had explained that they had taught the birds specifically to say these words.
"Attention to what?", the man asked.
"To paying attention", the islanders replied.
For me, today and recently, this has been the most useful, empowering, calming and joyous affirmation for me to repeat throughout my day.
Having just read 'The Power of Now', by Eckhart Tolle, this affirmation keeps me centred on the present. It helps me keep my mind from straying into the past and the future.
When we focus on the past we often attach meaning to events - that was good, that was bad, that worked, that didn't work.... Similarly when we think of the future we can attach meaning, for example fears or worries about what might happen, or anticipatory happiness at what pleasant possibilities exist.
For me often the past is 'negative' and the future always 'positive'. I often forget about the present!
When I am (in the) present, I am true to myself and values. Decisions are easier to make. I am necessarily at peace as in the present moment there is no good or bad, there just is. Tolle talks of is-ism. I love that. Having is-ism.
With our ego, or mind, there are the polarities of good and bad. If you have good thoughts, there is necessarily bad thoughts. For example, "I am looking forward to my day off tomorrow when I am going to the beach". This thought will make me feel good. However it may very promptly be followed by, "I hope that it doesn't rain and ruin my day off at the beach." This thought will make me feel bad.
If you 'listen' to your incessant mind chatter you will notice a few things. Firstly it is rarely focussed on what is actually going on in the 'here and now'. Secondly, you will oscillate between what happened in the past, or what you are hoping or fearing may happen in the future.
A good illustration of how our mind works is in the story of the old man who had a fine, but rather wild thoroughbred horse. One day, the horse broke out of the paddock and ran away. The old man' neighbour came over and, when he found out about the horse escaping, said, "That's too bad ! Bad luck!" But the old man said, "Maybe, maybe not." The next day, the horse came back, bringing with it three fine wild horses. "How wonderful!" exclaimed the neighbour. But the old man just smiled and said, "Maybe, maybe not." The old man had a son, and the son went riding on one of the wild horses, but it was so wild that it kicked him and broke his leg. The old man's neighbour found out and, again, said, "That's too bad ! Bad luck." But the old man said, "Maybe, maybe not." Soon, the army came knocking on the old man's door, looking for conscripts for the war. Because the old man's son was injured, they didn't take him. "How wonderful!" said the neighbour, but the old man said ...... you start to get the picture!
As I stopped attaching meaning to events in my past and future, it became so much easier to enjoy the present. To notice the sunset as I sat in the bad traffic. To let go of the upset I had at a friend misunderstanding me. To laugh at myself when I was wishing hopefully for an event to happen in the future to make me happy.
"Attention! Here and Now! Wake up!". I love it.
So tomorrow, try it out. Next time you feel yourself getting upset, depressed, angry, frustrated, call out "Attention! Here and Now! Wake up!". Ask yourself if in the present moment there is any need to be upset, depressed, angry or frustrated. Take a deep breath. Feel everything there is to be felt right at that moment (your legs against the chair, the air conditioner blowing on your face), hear what there is to be heard (your breathing, the computer whirring), smell what there is to be smelt, see what there is to be seen (others in the room, colours on the wall). You will be surprised at the peace that descends.
It is a peace that emanates from your heart. It encompasses all the space around you and between you. It may only last a moment.
Try it too when you feel yourself getting excited or happy about something. See that it is a polarity. Attaching too much meaning to something external risks the downside if things do not work out as planned. Practice watching your mind at work, tricking your emotions into following an unnecessary roller coaster.
I hope that as I practice this ("Attention! Here and Now! Wake up!") I can more naturally keep the heart-peace I have found.
Namaste
Jane
Thursday, May 15, 2008
"Something worth doing, is worth doing badly at first"
Toddlers probably learn more in one week than a fully grown adult in one year.
Why is that? Do our brains suddenly start to deteriorate at 5 years old? No, of course not.
What actually changes is that as we get older the world relates to us differently and we have misconceptions about how we can (safely) relate to the world.
For example, take the example of when a toddler demands to feed themselves for the first time. (Parents will know that this time is likely to be with the messiest food, when you are in a hurry and/or you have friends over watching!)
Imagine you have just started at a new job. Wouldn't you like a manager and environment that is similar to that of the toddler? Where you are expected to take some risks and try new things, and in the process, not be good at something in the short term? Where it is safe to make mistakes? Where you have 'on the job' support and feedback provided as you go, so that you gradually get better at what you need to do?
So the reality of most adult life is that we do not learn new things quickly because:
Look at yourself closely... what elements of your behaviour or what areas of your life have you lost your ability to learn with childlike ease?
Examples could include your work, your relationships, your approach to health or finances management. Or behavioural examples may include your ability to control your anger, to get along with others, to deal with change & uncertainty...
If there are areas in your life that are holding you back, that are working against you and not for you, there is a wonderful opportunity to learn like a child.
Jane
Why is that? Do our brains suddenly start to deteriorate at 5 years old? No, of course not.
What actually changes is that as we get older the world relates to us differently and we have misconceptions about how we can (safely) relate to the world.
For example, take the example of when a toddler demands to feed themselves for the first time. (Parents will know that this time is likely to be with the messiest food, when you are in a hurry and/or you have friends over watching!)
- Does the toddler worry about trying something new and perhaps looking stupid in trying?
- Does the toddler give up if after a few goes and decide she will just never be good at eating?
- Does the mother stand back and just watch the toddler, or does the mother help guide the spoon, provide encouraging words, clean up the mess when necessary, and help the child try and try again?
Imagine you have just started at a new job. Wouldn't you like a manager and environment that is similar to that of the toddler? Where you are expected to take some risks and try new things, and in the process, not be good at something in the short term? Where it is safe to make mistakes? Where you have 'on the job' support and feedback provided as you go, so that you gradually get better at what you need to do?
So the reality of most adult life is that we do not learn new things quickly because:
- We are too scared to look stupid during the process of the learning
- We don't like to admit that we don't know something, so we don't ask for advice from others.
- We do not ask for feedback on how we are doing, in case people will criticise us harshly.
Look at yourself closely... what elements of your behaviour or what areas of your life have you lost your ability to learn with childlike ease?
Examples could include your work, your relationships, your approach to health or finances management. Or behavioural examples may include your ability to control your anger, to get along with others, to deal with change & uncertainty...
If there are areas in your life that are holding you back, that are working against you and not for you, there is a wonderful opportunity to learn like a child.
- Give yourself permission to fail
- Ask experts for advice - constantly
- Ask for feedback from others on how you are going
Jane
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
If you think you can, or you think you can't - either way you are right
There is this great story about a guy who had started his own business.
Back in the early 1900s, this guy had had a great idea and setup his own business. As with most small businesses, there was not enough capital to pay all the startup costs, and it was not very long until the businessman got to the point where he thought he might have to pack it all in.
One lunchtime he decided to get out of the office to just have a think about what he was going to do. He really did believe in his product, but he needed a bit more time to win his first few customers. He walked through a nearby park and sat down on a bench to just dwell on his disappointment at having to close his business, and for the future potential he would not be able to realise.
Sitting there, he did not notice an old man come up and sit beside him, until the man turned to him and asked him why he looked so glum. For some reason, our businessman decided to tell this stranger about his business, the potential, the lack of capital and his sorrow at not being able to fulfill his plans. The stranger smiled and nodded as he listened to the story. When the businessman had finished, the old man slowly took a cheque book out of his coat pocket and started to write out a cheque.
The stranger said to the businessman, "Here is some capital to help you keep your business running. I don't want to know how you spend it but meet me in this park at this same time in one years time and tell me what you have done with your business." He then handed the businessman the cheque he had written, and got up to walk away.
The businessman looked down at the cheque he was holding. It had been made out for $500,000 and it was signed John D Rockefeller. He gasped in astonishment as he watched the retreating figure. John D Rockefeller was an American Industrialist famous for his philanthropy and support of pioneers. The businessman did not recognise his face, but he certainly knew the name and was astounded at his luck at running into him!
The businessman pocketed the cheque and walked briskly back to his office, full of plans for what he would do with Rockefeller's generous support. As he sat down at his desk, however, he had a new thought. Rather than banking the cheque straight away, he decided to wait until he really needed the money and perhaps draw down on it bit by bit.
That afternoon and for the weeks to come, our businessman made sales calls and organised meetings, knowing that if he needed it ,he had access to Rockefeller's $500,000. He was able to face potential customers without the desperation of really needing to make the sale today, and he was able to negotiate harder with suppliers.
Over the course of the next year the businessman turned his business around completely, receiving orders from large customers, setting in motion all the necessary operations of the business. By the end of one year, his business was profitable and growing. And he had never had to draw on the $500,000!
However ,as promised, on the date of the next year as planned, the businessman returned to the park where he had first meet Rockefeller. And at the appointed time, the businessman saw the old man walking slowly towards him. As the businessman stood up to greet Rockefeller and shake his hand and tell him of the success of his business, a nurse came from around the corner to help the old man as he walked.
The nurse turned to the businessman and said, "I am so sorry if he has been disturbing you. He suffers from delusions and he believes he is John D Rockefeller. He is always wandering off from the nursing home to talk to people, so please excuse him."
The business man of course could not believe his ears! So the cheque had been nothing, yet he had had it tucked in the top drawer of his desk as his security for over one year.
Isn't that a great story? The lesson is that our beliefs - whether they be REAL or FALSE drive our ability or lack of ability to achieve what we set out to do.
Taking the time to reflect on our fundamental beliefs and whether or not they are real or false (or whether or not they work for you or against you) can be hugely beneficial in understanding what may be holding you back from doing what you really want to do.
For me, one of my false beliefs is that ultimately I am alone. The impact of this shows up in lots of sly ways. When I feel stressed or under pressure, I immediately withdraw. I immediately find being with people tiring, as if I am having to work at the image that I believe they need to see of me. I don't ask for help, and it can degenerate into further depression. Linked to this belief is also a belief that I am not worthy of being loved.
Where did these beliefs come from? Likely my childhood and adolescent experiences. But irrespective, having identified them I am now empowered to decide whether I want to keep these beliefs. Do they work for me? Well no. So now starts my process of being conscious of when I am making decisions using those beliefs as filters. And when I do become aware of this, to change the filter, and make better decisions!
Here's hoping that tomorrow you too may uncover some limiting beliefs that are holding you back!
Cheers
Jane
Back in the early 1900s, this guy had had a great idea and setup his own business. As with most small businesses, there was not enough capital to pay all the startup costs, and it was not very long until the businessman got to the point where he thought he might have to pack it all in.
One lunchtime he decided to get out of the office to just have a think about what he was going to do. He really did believe in his product, but he needed a bit more time to win his first few customers. He walked through a nearby park and sat down on a bench to just dwell on his disappointment at having to close his business, and for the future potential he would not be able to realise.
Sitting there, he did not notice an old man come up and sit beside him, until the man turned to him and asked him why he looked so glum. For some reason, our businessman decided to tell this stranger about his business, the potential, the lack of capital and his sorrow at not being able to fulfill his plans. The stranger smiled and nodded as he listened to the story. When the businessman had finished, the old man slowly took a cheque book out of his coat pocket and started to write out a cheque.
The stranger said to the businessman, "Here is some capital to help you keep your business running. I don't want to know how you spend it but meet me in this park at this same time in one years time and tell me what you have done with your business." He then handed the businessman the cheque he had written, and got up to walk away.
The businessman looked down at the cheque he was holding. It had been made out for $500,000 and it was signed John D Rockefeller. He gasped in astonishment as he watched the retreating figure. John D Rockefeller was an American Industrialist famous for his philanthropy and support of pioneers. The businessman did not recognise his face, but he certainly knew the name and was astounded at his luck at running into him!
The businessman pocketed the cheque and walked briskly back to his office, full of plans for what he would do with Rockefeller's generous support. As he sat down at his desk, however, he had a new thought. Rather than banking the cheque straight away, he decided to wait until he really needed the money and perhaps draw down on it bit by bit.
That afternoon and for the weeks to come, our businessman made sales calls and organised meetings, knowing that if he needed it ,he had access to Rockefeller's $500,000. He was able to face potential customers without the desperation of really needing to make the sale today, and he was able to negotiate harder with suppliers.
Over the course of the next year the businessman turned his business around completely, receiving orders from large customers, setting in motion all the necessary operations of the business. By the end of one year, his business was profitable and growing. And he had never had to draw on the $500,000!
However ,as promised, on the date of the next year as planned, the businessman returned to the park where he had first meet Rockefeller. And at the appointed time, the businessman saw the old man walking slowly towards him. As the businessman stood up to greet Rockefeller and shake his hand and tell him of the success of his business, a nurse came from around the corner to help the old man as he walked.
The nurse turned to the businessman and said, "I am so sorry if he has been disturbing you. He suffers from delusions and he believes he is John D Rockefeller. He is always wandering off from the nursing home to talk to people, so please excuse him."
The business man of course could not believe his ears! So the cheque had been nothing, yet he had had it tucked in the top drawer of his desk as his security for over one year.
Isn't that a great story? The lesson is that our beliefs - whether they be REAL or FALSE drive our ability or lack of ability to achieve what we set out to do.
Taking the time to reflect on our fundamental beliefs and whether or not they are real or false (or whether or not they work for you or against you) can be hugely beneficial in understanding what may be holding you back from doing what you really want to do.
For me, one of my false beliefs is that ultimately I am alone. The impact of this shows up in lots of sly ways. When I feel stressed or under pressure, I immediately withdraw. I immediately find being with people tiring, as if I am having to work at the image that I believe they need to see of me. I don't ask for help, and it can degenerate into further depression. Linked to this belief is also a belief that I am not worthy of being loved.
Where did these beliefs come from? Likely my childhood and adolescent experiences. But irrespective, having identified them I am now empowered to decide whether I want to keep these beliefs. Do they work for me? Well no. So now starts my process of being conscious of when I am making decisions using those beliefs as filters. And when I do become aware of this, to change the filter, and make better decisions!
Here's hoping that tomorrow you too may uncover some limiting beliefs that are holding you back!
Cheers
Jane
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Seeing myself in the 'raw'
Another day, another life lesson.
Having had some more news that sent me into a downward spiral last night, it was a big effort this morning to wake up with a vigour for life.
However I had an adventurous day planned - a visit to a spirtual healer in Eumundi, about one and a half hours drive from Brisbane. She had come recommended from a friend of mine who had been told she could not get pregnant by the medical profession. Upon visiting this healer, she was told that she was not infertile, and shortly after her visit she fell pregnant with her first son, and her second not long after the first was born. So it gave me hope....
To say that what the healer said resonated with me is an understatement.
Annie identified that my business 'failure' last year continued to impact on all areas of my life currently. I had not taken the time to analyse ('peer into the open wound') the life lessons from this event. The stress related to this event, the blame and guilt that I still had on board was impacting my ability to live my life with confidence and purpose, and likely impacting my ability to have another child.
Annie used a form of kinesiology which was very powerful to identify the areas of 'false beliefs' in my life. She tested such statements as 'I forgive myself', 'I am loved and not alone', etc (which I initially failed dreadfully at) and then used her healing to allow me to feel these. She identified my relationship with my parents and childhood experiences as continuing to influence my behaviours and subconscious belief systems.
What was interesting is that I thought I had indeed worked through these issues. I would never have thought of myself as someone who did not feel able to be loved, or who felt guilt or blame. Yet when she spoke it I knew she was right - the weakness and feeling of being 'exposed' was raw. Here I was thinking I was self-aware, or at least more self-aware than the average person!
I walked out my session peaceful and truly connected to a form of global consciousness. It has allowed me to see the events in my life as simply events that need not impact on my sense of self or joy.
Yes when the negative thoughts come in (from the events of my day to day life), they are initially painful, like a stab - however I am learning to quickly see them for what they are - responses of my mind and ego self, not my true self.
Annie explained that this transition and change phase which began in Feb last year and will go through to December this year (long time!) is necessary for me to realise my true self, my true reason for being. Without the adversity, I would not have come as far as I have in my self realisation. As the saying goes, the universal spirit only sends us the life experiences she knows we can handle, but I wonder if she trusts me too much!
I have a long way to go of course still. But I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel more in control of my errant emotions and feelings. And these are what effect my experiences of joy and happiness on a daily basis.
Living life for today rather than what might be in the future, or what was in the past brings in itself peace and joy. The future may never happen and the past is over, all we have is the present. This thought allows me to continuously work at 'being present' rather than worrying about the future, or lamenting the past.
My work in the leadership and personal development space continues to allow me to make a difference in people's lives. What a joy that is! Working with a community organisation this afternoon, we identified a culture that lacks a desire to develop their people. This is caused by a fear of change, and possibly a fear by senior management of being exposed. We will be running a small pilot with a group who are keen to see change happen - to build processes to start to shift the culture of the organisation. All small baby steps but it is very rewarding.
Picked up a book for my husband this afternoon called "The Way of the Superior Man". I saw it on the shelf and it jumped out at me to buy for him. I hope he enjoys it.
Signing off until tomorrow,
Cheers
Jane
Having had some more news that sent me into a downward spiral last night, it was a big effort this morning to wake up with a vigour for life.
However I had an adventurous day planned - a visit to a spirtual healer in Eumundi, about one and a half hours drive from Brisbane. She had come recommended from a friend of mine who had been told she could not get pregnant by the medical profession. Upon visiting this healer, she was told that she was not infertile, and shortly after her visit she fell pregnant with her first son, and her second not long after the first was born. So it gave me hope....
To say that what the healer said resonated with me is an understatement.
Annie identified that my business 'failure' last year continued to impact on all areas of my life currently. I had not taken the time to analyse ('peer into the open wound') the life lessons from this event. The stress related to this event, the blame and guilt that I still had on board was impacting my ability to live my life with confidence and purpose, and likely impacting my ability to have another child.
Annie used a form of kinesiology which was very powerful to identify the areas of 'false beliefs' in my life. She tested such statements as 'I forgive myself', 'I am loved and not alone', etc (which I initially failed dreadfully at) and then used her healing to allow me to feel these. She identified my relationship with my parents and childhood experiences as continuing to influence my behaviours and subconscious belief systems.
What was interesting is that I thought I had indeed worked through these issues. I would never have thought of myself as someone who did not feel able to be loved, or who felt guilt or blame. Yet when she spoke it I knew she was right - the weakness and feeling of being 'exposed' was raw. Here I was thinking I was self-aware, or at least more self-aware than the average person!
I walked out my session peaceful and truly connected to a form of global consciousness. It has allowed me to see the events in my life as simply events that need not impact on my sense of self or joy.
Yes when the negative thoughts come in (from the events of my day to day life), they are initially painful, like a stab - however I am learning to quickly see them for what they are - responses of my mind and ego self, not my true self.
Annie explained that this transition and change phase which began in Feb last year and will go through to December this year (long time!) is necessary for me to realise my true self, my true reason for being. Without the adversity, I would not have come as far as I have in my self realisation. As the saying goes, the universal spirit only sends us the life experiences she knows we can handle, but I wonder if she trusts me too much!
I have a long way to go of course still. But I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel more in control of my errant emotions and feelings. And these are what effect my experiences of joy and happiness on a daily basis.
Living life for today rather than what might be in the future, or what was in the past brings in itself peace and joy. The future may never happen and the past is over, all we have is the present. This thought allows me to continuously work at 'being present' rather than worrying about the future, or lamenting the past.
My work in the leadership and personal development space continues to allow me to make a difference in people's lives. What a joy that is! Working with a community organisation this afternoon, we identified a culture that lacks a desire to develop their people. This is caused by a fear of change, and possibly a fear by senior management of being exposed. We will be running a small pilot with a group who are keen to see change happen - to build processes to start to shift the culture of the organisation. All small baby steps but it is very rewarding.
Picked up a book for my husband this afternoon called "The Way of the Superior Man". I saw it on the shelf and it jumped out at me to buy for him. I hope he enjoys it.
Signing off until tomorrow,
Cheers
Jane
Monday, May 12, 2008
Exit from a darker place
Good evening new friends
The purpose of this blog is to capture the myriad of thoughts, feelings and conclusions that have come and gone within me over the last few months.
Isn't it funny how we have to go very far into the 'darker places' before we can see our way out?
Yet I am out the other side, even though my circumstances have not altered at all.
A month ago I was seriously depressed, unable to interact with friends, had no drive or desire for life, and was simply going through life's motions.
However as much as I am feeling better I do not think we can say conclusively that we may never go back there. In fact I believe that it is only through daily, if not hourly or by the minute, that we have to consciously choose our responses to life. And, yes, for me right now, it is as exhausting as it sounds. But the energy and effort is worth it. I look forward to sharing my insights.
It is not the adversity that life deal us, but how we continue to find joy in life that determines our character.
I found this thought daunting, as I knew that adversity had and continued to floor me day in and day out. Having 'character' is very hard. Not for the faint hearted, or those who want immediate gratification.
Self discipline is doing what you need to do, when you need to do it, not matter whether you FEEL like doing it or not.
Now that has got to be one of the hardest idioms to live by - at least for someone with my personality type.
So anyway, you are getting the gist of where I want to go with this. More later.
Cheers
Jane
The purpose of this blog is to capture the myriad of thoughts, feelings and conclusions that have come and gone within me over the last few months.
Isn't it funny how we have to go very far into the 'darker places' before we can see our way out?
Yet I am out the other side, even though my circumstances have not altered at all.
A month ago I was seriously depressed, unable to interact with friends, had no drive or desire for life, and was simply going through life's motions.
However as much as I am feeling better I do not think we can say conclusively that we may never go back there. In fact I believe that it is only through daily, if not hourly or by the minute, that we have to consciously choose our responses to life. And, yes, for me right now, it is as exhausting as it sounds. But the energy and effort is worth it. I look forward to sharing my insights.
It is not the adversity that life deal us, but how we continue to find joy in life that determines our character.
I found this thought daunting, as I knew that adversity had and continued to floor me day in and day out. Having 'character' is very hard. Not for the faint hearted, or those who want immediate gratification.
Self discipline is doing what you need to do, when you need to do it, not matter whether you FEEL like doing it or not.
Now that has got to be one of the hardest idioms to live by - at least for someone with my personality type.
So anyway, you are getting the gist of where I want to go with this. More later.
Cheers
Jane
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